


dont bite off more than you can chew

by shorteststraw



Category: Metallica
Genre: High Shenanigans, How Do I Tag This, Short Drabble, drunk, lars ulrich girlboss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shorteststraw/pseuds/shorteststraw
Summary: James and Lars dont have brains when theyre high and drunk
Kudos: 4





	dont bite off more than you can chew

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an apparent quote by dave that says “James and Lars got drunk and shared food. Literally- I once saw Lars take a big bite of a sandwich, chew it up, then lean over and spit the cud into James’ gaping maw, like a mother bird feeding its chick.” idk if its real or not but im stickin with it

The two boys sat on the couch, giggling their asses off at nothing in particular, it was a late night in the metallica mansion so James and Lars decided to go for a beer run and smoke some of Cliff’s stash while he went to go visit his girlfriend. Dave quickly got annoyed by the two and went into hiding in his room, leaving James and Lars to do god knows what in the living room.

Lars munched away on his homemade sub sandwich as he pretended to listen to James rant about something not important,or maybe it was, Lars wouldn’t know. “Dude, are you even listening?”

“Hm? Oh- oh yeah i was!” Lars turned to face him, giving him a not so reassuring smile. “Yeah right, asshole” James rolled his eyes and gave him a playful push, Lars in turn pushed him back, causing them to wrestle for a good 10 minutes. Out of breath, Lars went back to his sandwich, turning to face James when he felt a pair of eyes on him. “What?”

“Lemme take a bite of your sandwich”

“No way fucker make your own” 

“Oh c’mon it’s just one bite, Lars! Quit being such a greedy bastard already” Lars huffed and put his sandwich back down, looking at James with an unreadable expression that caught him totally off guard. “I bet you won’t have the guts to eat a bite of my sandwich ...after I’ve chewed it” 

James sat staring at Lars, trying to figure out what the fuck he meant “Lars i just want a fucking bite stop being a bitch” 

“And you can go make yourself one can’t you? I just want to make things interesting.” Lars smiled up at him, sandwich in hand. James didn't know if it was the fact he was both high and drunk, or if he’s just gone completely insane, but something in him wanted to try out this challenge. How bad could it be? “Ok...how much money?”

“20 bucks and uhh...loser has to buy the winner whatever they want next grocery store trip” Lars grinned like a mad man, already set on the fact he was going to win. James stuck out his pinkie “It’s on dickface” he smirked. They pinkie promised each other and James awkwardly stared as he watched Lars bite his sandwich, this time making sure to chew thoroughly, trying to make it as gross as possible so he can win. He put his thumb up, signaling he was done chewing and James hesitantly opened his mouth, holding his nose closed just in case. Lars hovered above him and put it in his mouth, sitting back down and waiting to see if James would really go through with this. 

As soon as it entered his mouth he let out an involuntary gag, almost spitting it out right away. But he kept going, there was no way he was going to give 20 dollars to that danish bitch and admit defea-

“What the fuck?!”

Both James and Lars jumped in their seats, turning around to find Dave standing in the doorway with the most disgusted look directed at James, Lars doubling over in laughter. The food was spat out and he immediately began stumbling over his words to look for an appropriate answer. “You know what, i don’t wanna hear it. I’m going to bed” Dave put up his hands and walked back into his room, rubbing a hand over his face.

Lars finally stopped laughing and wiped the tears from his face “Thats 20 bucks sucker, I expect my payment tomorrow, as well as that grocery store trip” He sauntered away into his room, leaving James to question his entire life decisions.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah the title is pretty corny so what, sue me


End file.
